BruntyOver the last few weeks Mick Stephens has conducted a series of one-to-one interviews with the legend that is Ian Brunt. In them we reveal a fascinating insight into the mind of a superstar, what makes him tick? what drives him on ? At times these meetings often ended in violence and more than once the Police were called. On conclusion of these interviews we were forced to sign a confidentiality clause by Brunts lawyers. This I do not recognise and here are those interviews in full.

In part II of the Brunty interviews, Stevo spends six months in hospital recovering from the vicious attack on him by Brunt and his P.A. Louis Spence. You may recall him being beat up when he asked about Brunt’s designer stubble in part I of these recordings. This enraged Brunt so much, Stevo was in intensive care and it was touch and go for a while.

During these six months Brunt’s career was in overdrive, Man of the Match award in the Wirral Premier Cup Final, Outstanding solo goals in league matches to win the points that eventually win the league, stunning hat-trick in the Memorial Cup Final and perhaps his finest hour…..leading his team to a 1.0 victory in the Veronica Conway Cup Final. The Dock had 3 men sent off but Brunt produces a Roy Keane type performance to drag his team to glory scoring the winner in injury time of extra time!

Brunt gets nominated for The Ballon d’Or (European footballer of the year for those who don’t know !) but stuns the football world by asking for a transfer from The Dock! Binksy is incandescent with rage and is seething when he visits me in hospital as I recuperate……..

BX.- He’s asked for a f.’#kin’ move ! After all we’ve done for him. He’s asked for a f.’#kin’ move ! He was f’#kin’ nothin’ before he came here…f’#kin’ nothin’! Do’ya know that he’s got that Louis Spence in the dressing room doin’ his f’#kin’ hair before he runs out ? Gary Reays’ head’s been turned now….he’s doing a f’#kin’ D.J. set on Saturday at f’#kin’ ‘Superstar Boudoir’. Mick Saunders is wearing leather f’#kin’ trousers and O’Hanlon turned up with a leather vest on the other day !

M.S.- Sounds like he’s out of control ?

BX.- Out of control ! Out of f’#kin’ control ! I should of done him in when he done you… Could never figure out why you wouldn’t let me ?

M.S.- I need that interview.

BX.- Get your interview before I get him ‘cos I’m Bouncin’!

Meanwhile I am released from hospital and invited to Paris by U.E.F.A. for The Ballon d’Or award . I take Binks as my guest and back-up in case Brunt kicks off. In recent weeks Brunt has attacked Oliver Holt and Harry Harris. He is still with his P.A. Louis Spence and is knocking round with Joey Essex . Rumours are circulating that he is about to appear in T.O.W.I.B. (The Only Way Is Brunty.) The season is over and the transfer request still stands. Brunt will not talk to Binks, instead, directing all dealings to his P.A. and now Agent, Louis Spence.

At Heathrow waiting for the flight to Paris.

M.S.- Here’s Louis coming over now.

BX- Looks like a right Mincer !

L.S- Hi Stevo ( in a camp voice ) Sorry about that er…..shall we say little misunderstanding…. Ian is so sorry, he doesn’t know what came over him (no pun intended) Whose your friend ?

M.S.- Thats o.k. Louis, it’s all forgotten about. This is Binksy…. Manager of Dock F.C.

L.S.- O.M.G…..So your Binksy.!!!…..Me and you just have to talk. This way girlfriend!
Louis prances off like Gary Reay through on goal….. beckoning Binksy to follow him.

BX- F’#kin’ girlfriend ! ….I’ll f’#kin’ kill him !

M.S.- Keep calm. Sort it with him ‘cos we need Brunty for next season and Louis holds the key. Give him anything he wants !

B.X.- Anything ?

M.S- Yes mate, anything !
Binksy disappears with Louis to the V.I.P.Lounge and I make my way over to a crowd of people gathering round someone holding court……..It’s Brunty….Pissed and mouthing off how he’s gonna get The Ballon d’Or and how he’s holding The Dock to ransom.

I.B- Yeah….I’ve got this Balloon thingy sewn up…..About time I got some recognition carrying this shower of Sh*t* ! He (Binks) wants to realise what I do for this club. I’ve got a ‘Fly on the Wall’ documentary coming soon. I can get him and his poxy team on the telly. Mind you…they won’t be able to fit Packmans arse on the screen…They had better up the ante next season or I’m off !

Brunty downs a Treble Whisky with a Snowball chaser in one and staggers off in the direction of the toilets. This is my chance…..should I do him in or hold off until I get the big one? In less than 24 hours Brunty is going to be crowned European Footballer of the Year and I could have the exclusive. I decide against doing him in ….there’s plenty of time for that….. and follow him into the bog’s.

Part 3 of The Brunty Interviews next month.
Carnage in the Bogs….. Binksy swings it with Louis and Brunty signs Mega deal.