The Dock Amateur Football Club

Dock AFC Presentation Day

Chris Stading — Sat, 19 May 2012 09:26:21 +0000

The 2012 Dock AFC Presentation Day is confirmed for 3:00pm, Sunday 3rd June 2012, at the Central Hotel. Cost for the meal is £15 per head or £25 per couple payable to Shaun Byrne ASAP (Brunty and Ross, you are not a couple). Please confirm your attendance to Shaun Byrne or Jeff Sheeran ASAP (or use the comment button on the bottom of this post).

All outstanding FA Cup Envelope monies will need to be paid by the above date!!!

Final 2011-2012 League Table

Chris Stading — Fri, 18 May 2012 14:59:51 +0000

Final 2012-2013 League Table 2011-2012
Club	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts
Queens Park	20	16	4	0	69	25	44	52
Bidston	20	11	2	7	47	47	0	35
Stirrup Sports & Social	20	9	6	5	44	34	10	33
Dock FC	20	10	2	8	48	36	12	32
Rock Ferry Social	20	8	6	6	57	46	11	30
Shore Villa	20	8	4	8	44	46	-2	28
Brow	20	7	6	7	33	36	-3	27
Heygarth FC	20	5	8	7	41	45	-4	23
New Ferry Wirral Hotel	20	5	4	11	33	53	-20	19
Argyll FC	20	2	7	11	22	38	-16	13
The Tower	20	2	5	13	23	55	-32	11

2011-12 League & Cup Results

Chris Stading — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:51:25 +0000

HOULIHAN'S BSFL PREMIER DIVISION
14th August 2011 Dock 5-1 The Tower
Lee Hammond (2)
Mike Saunders,
Jamie Kenyon
Paul Howell

18th August 2011 Dock 1-2 Rock Ferry Social
Paul Howell

21st August 2011 Shore Villa 2-4 Dock
Jamie Kenyon
Shaun Turner
Lee Hammond
Paul Howell

25th August 2011 Dock 3-1 Argyll
Jamie Kenyon (2)
Billy Newman

28th August 2011 New Ferry Wirral Hotel 2-4 Dock
Jamie Kenyon
Shaun Holmes
Iggy McGraa
Own Goal

1st September 2011 Dock 2-5 Stirrup Sports & Social
Lee Hammond (pen)
Jamie Kenyon

4th September 2011 Dock 3-1 Brow
Paul Byrne
Jamie Kenyon (2)

16th October 2011 Argyll 0-2 Dock
Paul Howell
Mike Saunders

30th October 2011 Dock 3-1 New Ferry Wirral Hotel
Paul Howell (2)
Lee Hammond (pen)

6th November 2011 Dock 3-1 Heygarth
Shaun Holmes
Paul Howell
Gary Reay

13th November 2011 The Tower 0-4 Dock
Mike Saunders
Gary Reay
Craig Donaghy
Craig Johnson

20th November 2011 Stirrup 4-1 Dock
Mike Saunders

27th November 2011 Dock 2-3 Shore Villa
Jamie Kenyon (2)

4th December 2011 Heygarth 2-5 Dock
Paul Byrne
Lee Hammond
Shaun Holmes
Iggy McGraa
Jamie Kenyon

19 February 2012 Rock Ferry Social 1-1 Dock
Jamie Kenyon

04 March 2012 Dock 1-3 Bidston Hotel
Gary Reay

11 March 2012 Bidston Hotel 0-0 Dock

25 March 2012 Queens Park 2-1 Dock
Colin O'Hanlon

8 April 2012 Brow 2-1 Dock
Gareth Craven

22 April 2012 Dock 2-3 Queens Park
Mike Saunders
Gareth Craven

CHESHIRE SUNDAY CUP
18th September 2011 Dock 4-1 Stockport Dynamoes
Jamie Kenyon
Lee Hammond (pen)
Bernie Holmes
Gary Reay

23rd October 2011 Brow 3-1 Dock
Lee Hammond (Pen)

WIRRAL PREMIER CUP
9th October 2011 Dock 2-4 Shore Villa
Lee Hammond (pen)
Shaun Turner

TONY HOULIHAN'S MEMORIAL CHALANGE CUP
29 January 2012 Heygarth 5-5 Dock (Heygarth win 5-4 on penalties)
Paul Howell (2)
Lee Hammond
Neil Wilson
Jamie Kenyon

VERONICA CONWAY CUP
12th February 2012 Queens Park 2-0 Dock

Dock FC 2011-12 Goal Scorers

Chris Stading — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:50:43 +0000

Dock FC 2011-12 Goal Scorers
Player	Lge	Cup	Total
Jamie Kenyon	12	2	14
Lee Hammond	6	4	10
Paul Howell	7	2	9
Gary Reay	4	1	5
Shaun Holmes	3	1	4
Mike Saunders	4	0	4
Shaun Turner	1	1	2
Iggy McGraa	2	0	2
Paul Byrne	2	0	2
Gareth Craven	2	0	2
Billy Newman	1	0	1
Craig Donaghy	1	0	1
Craig Johnson	1	0	1
Neil Wilson	0	1	1
Colin O'Hanlon	1	0	1
Own Goal	1	0	1

All League & Cup Games 2011-12

Chris Stading — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:49:07 +0000

All 2011-12 League & Cup Games
P	W	D	L	F	A	GD
25	11 (44%)	2 (8%)	12 (48%)	60	48	+12

2011-12 FC Cup Envelopes

Chris Stading — Fri, 04 May 2012 10:47:16 +0000

FC Cup Envelope opening tonight in the Victoria Lodge from 6:30pm to 7:30pm. Do your best to get down there pay your money and open your envelope. Good Luck!!!

Still envelopes left if anyone is interested £45.00 each

Winner £500
Runner Up £300
2 x Semi Finalists £150 each
4 x Quarters Finalists £75 each
8 x 5th Round Losers £45 eack
1 x Dock AFC £45

Queens Park 2-1 Dock (Houlihand's BSFL Premier Division)

Chris Stading — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 15:00:10 +0000

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Bidston Hotel 0-0 Dock (Houlihan's BSFL Premier Division)

Chris Stading — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 16:00:19 +0000

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Chris Stading — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:55:06 +0000

Awaiting Report from Stevo

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Queens Park 2-0 Dock (Veronica Conway Cup)

Chris Stading — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:51:40 +0000

Awaiting Report from Stevo

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THE "ASK AMMO?" COLUMN

Chris Stading — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:51:07 +0000

Hi… I’m Lee Hammond and welcome to the fourth of my new series of ASK ‘AMMO ? You can ask me anything you like about the game of football.

This week’s letter is from Has-been striker Gary Reay and Gary ask’s…….

Lee…I have not played for ten weeks and as a result I am struggling to get into my shorts! You look great in your kit and I was wondering if you had any tips to help me look as good as you?

Well thanks for the letter Gary….Some might say you have not played for ten years never mind ten weeks but I don’t subscribe to that theory. Your record of fourteen ‘ Golden High Heels’ may never be broken but the fact remains that you are a Fat Baldy Bas*#rd.

If you want to look as good as me in my kit get a pair of White boots for a starter…then…get on the beds like that Fruit Craig Donaghy and finally….start knocking round with Brunty. He gets chased by that many Puffs the weight will fly off !

Ian Brunt gets transfer away from Dock AFC

Chris Stading — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:52:22 +0000

Barcelona have completed the signing of Ian Brunt for a world record transfer fee of £83 million.

After weeks of speculation, the world and European champions held off a late bid from affluent Premier League side Manchester City, thought to be in the region of £95 million.

Barca boss Pep Guardiola has said he is delighted with his new signing and revealed that Ian Brunt could make the starting XI for Saturday's crucial clash with Real Sociedad.

Guardiola told Sky Sports: "When you see potential in a player you have to act fast and this is a star who has an eye for goal, can pass with either foot and is comfortable in many positions.

Click Here for Ian Brunt Transfer Details

Signed Luis Suarez shirt winner

Chris Stading — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:25:16 +0000

The winner of the signed Luis Suarez shirt was ex Dock player and all round nice bloke Graeme Pringle. Well done Graeme and a big thank you to everyone who entered the raffle.

Team Manager Position

Chris Stading — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:14:46 +0000

Long serving Dock AFC Player Manager Mike McGraa has recently been successful in obtaining and taking up appointment as Player Manager of Conway United FC of the Huws Gray Cymru Alliance Football League. After careful consideration and much heartache Mike has made the decision to relinquish team management responsibility for Dock AFC with immediate effect and will be replaced by his long serving Assistant and former Dock AFC player. Jason Packenham.

On behalf of all the players and committee of Dock AFC we would like to take this opportunity to thank Mike for the excellent job that he has performed during his tenure as Manager and wish him every success for the future in his new appointment. Similarly, we would also like to congratulate Jason on his new appointment and look forward to what is hoped will be the beginning of another successful era in the Club's history.

THE BRUNTY INTERVIEWS (PART III)

Chris Stading — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:34:54 +0000

Over the last few weeks Mick Stephens has conducted a series of one-to-one interviews with the legend that is Ian Brunt. In them we reveal a fascinating insight into the mind of a superstar, what makes him tick? what drives him on ? At times these meetings often ended in violence and more than once the Police were called. On conclusion of these interviews we were forced to sign a confidentiality clause by Brunts lawyers. This I do not recognise and here are those interviews in full.

In part III of the series Brunty is about to be crowned European Footballer of the Year but is leaving his transfer request to Louis Spence, who is his Agent and P.A. He is last seen entering the toilets of Heathrow Airport on route to Paris for the awards ceremony. He is rotten drunk and emotional. Binksy has gone missing with Louis and they are nowhere to be seen. Stevo follows Brunty into the Bogs……

M.S.- Oi ! Sh*t house!
I.B.- (turns his head) Oh Sh*t ! what are you doing here ?
M.S.- I’m here to kick your fu*kin’ head in you Tart !

With that Brunty legs it…but there is only one way to go….into the bogs ! As I catch up with him…….
I.B.- Don’t hit me Stevo….Not the face…not the face….I’m sorry, I’m sorry it was Louis’ idea……

Just then there is grunting and groaning coming from the cubicle behind us…seconds later the cubicle opens and Louis and Binksy emerge flustered and doing up their clothes.

L.S.- Hiiiii guy’s!…. Ian…. I think we’re gonna drop that transfer request ‘cos Binksy is a Wiiiiiiildman !
M.S.- Right Louis….I want the rest of that interview when he gets the Ballon d’Or
L.S.- Sure thing Big boy !
M.S.- Binks….Are you o.k ?
B.X..- F#ck off…..I don’t want to talk about it !

Binksy walks off like John Wayne after taking one for the team. Brunty is back on board!
Brunty and Louis invite Binksy and I onto their table for the Ballon d’Or ceremony that night and promise me unrestricted access to the proceedings that see Brunty crowned European Footballer of the Year.
On our table….:- Brunty; Louis; Stevo; Binksy (standing up) David Ginola; Gabriel Batistuta and David Beckham…….

I.B.- Oi…Becks!…Pass us the Champers over lad !
D.B.- Sure thing Ian….
D.G.- Ian….Do you not think you ‘ave ‘ad enough? ee haugh! ee haugh! ee haugh!
I.B.- Fu#k off you!..you long haired French ponce! It’s my night and I’ll have as much as I want!
D.G.- l’homme est un imbecile !
I.B.- ‘Ave a look at my hair you tw#t ! It’s because I’m worth it ! Oi ! Batistuta…. you greasy haired cu#t…Lend us some grease ? Ha Ha!

Brunty is slaughtered and is mouthing off to all around him.

I.B.- I’m gonna find Platini and tell him that he’s a W#nker !
M.S.- Don’t be soft…He’s on stage about to give you The Ballon d’Or !
I.B.- Oh…Oh Yeah. So he is.

Platini calls out the result in reverse order….

M.P.- In 3rd place …Christiano Ronaldo…….In 2nd place…Lionel Messi….. and in 1st place……. Ian Brunt……

Brunty legs it up onto the stage and trips up on the red carpet and falls head first into the podium with the Ballon d’Or toppling off onto Platini’s big toe !

M.P.- Arrrrghhhhh ! You stupid fat headed fu#ker ! Fu#k off back to your table and take this with you…..

Platini hurls the Ballon d’Or at Brunty and he in turn heads it and it smashes into a thousand pieces onto the floor right in front of Platini.

Platini calls for Security and Brunty is thrown out… Batistuta and Ginola are waving sarcastically to our hero as he is ejected.

I.B.- I’ll have you two long haired fu#ker’s… Louis c’mon…we’re outa here.
L.S.- Speak for yourself Darling…I’m with Binksy !
I.B.- Stevo ?
M.S.- I’m with Becks, Dava and ‘Batigol’. See you later !

Part 4 of The Brunty Interviews next month.
Brunty wanders the streets of Paris and runs into lumber with P.S.G. fans. Stevo and Brunty fight on the Eurostar.