Lee HammondThe 1st round of the Cheshire Cup draw paired The Dock against a team from somewhere around the Coronation Street area…but to be fair to them they started like a Tram out of control over the cobbles! Boom Boom ! Oh come on …It’s my first report in ages!

The visitors opened on the front foot and dominated most of the first half hour but as the half progressed The Dock got a foot hold and started to play as a team that should have ambition to go a long way in this competition.

Thank God for Brunty ! I Thank our lucky stars that this Gladiator is still with us. Believe you me….offer’s were coming in thick and fast for this world renowned superstar…..Ale Madrid…..Lionel Blairs Showbiz XI…..Brighton and Hove Albion…but No ! Brunty stood firm and gave The Dock another year!

You can have your Hammonds…and you can have your J.K’s and to a certain extent…you can have your Bernaaaaaaaaard’s but in all my years of reporting, I have never come across a phenomenon that is called Ian Brunt.

Granted… all those named scored at crucial times but it was the main man that made sure that The Dock are in the hat for the next round.

Special mention must go to the number 5 who played as though it was yesterday and who knows…. might yet have his day in the sun. Young Billy done well when he came on and it was good to see Craig Donaghy with a Dock shirt on as opposed to a tight fitting vest and leather hot pants such as the clobber that he has been wearing to frequent Garlands recently.

Ross Carragher played well after he auditioned for X factor. He got rejected from ‘Jedward’ after Simon Cowell decided he wanted a duo not a trio. Gary Reay came back with a bang…nodding in from 3 yards…“All’s Gary Reay does is scores goals’’ Whoever made that statement wants knighting ! I’ve spoke to him personally and believe me…. he is finished with the Gay Scene and is fully concentrating on getting back his title of ‘Number 1 Sausage Jockey’ and I am sure he will retain it with ease.

I admit I missed the first couple of goals as Hon Tres. took me away for a half time cuppa….this has to stop as it has an adverse affect on the match report.

In summary we are second in the league after the opening weeks and have a developing squad. The new kit is….. as quoted …’The Dogs’… well done to all concerned and we look forward to more items of kit to come our way.

You may of heard rumours that Brunty and I may get it on at Christmas in the ring at the Vicky Lodge for our Xmas night out? I am currently in training and stand at 52-0. (52 by way of K.0) If we get 50 lads at £20 each to go to Dock coffers…I will make it 53-0. (53 by definite K.0).

Man of the Match…..Ian Brunt.

Dirty Bernard Holmes

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Report: Mike Stephens
Photos: Chris Stading